I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
