Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
