I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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