can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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