I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i came on her dog
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
