yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
