you guys were way drunker than both of me
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
