I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
