what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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