If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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