u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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