the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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