xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I wish there were birth control emojis
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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