Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
