Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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