Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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