Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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