youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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