If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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