so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
