Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
