We named our party play list daddy issues
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
