I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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