Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
