Define "chronic" masturbator.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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