I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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