My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
