is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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