Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
