I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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