woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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