My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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