if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
