I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Still dying that you shit outside
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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