i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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