If that was your dad, he is hot
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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