so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I think i got beer on your cat.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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