I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
