Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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