And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
