Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
