This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
