I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
