those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
