Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
