this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
