Pants 0. Shit 1.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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