So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
