I didn't shave. On purpose
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
