Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
