so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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