They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
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I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
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The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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