I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
