so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize