No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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