kristin has been a bad kristin
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
