I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
