So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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