The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
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a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
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No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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